And Jesus went to the desert, looked across the sea of angry American faces and spoke of truths both ancient and new.

      Raising his arms, Jesus declared, “You have heard it said by our Master In Mar-A-Lago, ‘You shall tolerate your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ Let me add that you must first learn to which political party your enemies belong. ONLY then are you fully prepared to hate your enemy, and to also bear false witness, if the opportunity arises” Jesus concluded.

         “And who are these enemies of yours?” Jesus queried, his arms reaching out to ask the question. “Now listen carefully,” Jesus charged the crowd, “Your enemies are those whose skin color is different from yours. And those who speak in a different tongue than you. And, especially, those who worship a god other than our Master In Mar-A-Lago. For your Father in Heaven would not have made your enemies seem strangely different from you if He hadn’t meant for them to be easily identified, even from a distance.

      “You have heard that I said, “It is better to love your enemies than to hate them, better to bless those who curse you, and to forgive those who persecute you.” 

Let me state unequivocally that those purported words of mine were falsely attributed to me in a fake news newspaper story. What I actually said was, “It is better to deport your enemies than to have them living in a house near yours, where they can burgle your treasures and rape your daughters.” And I also said, “it is better to lock them up than allow them to take your low caste jobs. So much better to let their families starve or go homeless than to tie up welfare funds real Americans might some day need.

      “Talk to us about abortions!” a voice called from the crowd.

      “Gladly!” Jesus replied, bending down to pick up a stone. He called to a nearby disciple and beckoned him to bring a basket forward. 

“Take this rock,” He charged His disciple, dropping his stone into the basket. Continuing, Jesus instructed the crowd, “Let my stone multiply in huge numbers so that we have enough rocks to arm each and every angry American. Now all of us clean, respectable Republican males should find a woman, or a clutch of women, whose lifestyle and life choices we abominate and reject as ungodly.” 

 “He that is most pious among you, let him be blessed to cast the first stone,” Jesus called as his disciples distributed the multitudes of rocks among the crowd. “And remember, it is no sin to wound or fully disable a Democrat.

      “You have heard it said that your Father In Heaven makes His sun to rise on the good as well as the evil, and sends rain to the just and unjust alike. That is true, my children, but He never meant for the sun to shine its beneficence down on illegal aliens residing on OUR side of the border.“

         Jesus beckoned the two cameras to move in for a tight closeup, as he explained, furrowing his brow: “Remember, there is only so much love and forbearance to go around. If you spend all your love on those who don’t belong in our country, what reward will remain once they have eaten all your bread, taken every job, slept with all your children, robbed you in your sleep and sent for the rest of their family that remained back in Juarez? 

“No, no,” Jesus exclaimed. “that just won’t do!

“Reserve your love and comfort,” he suggested, “for those with whom you do business, as well as for those you consider brethren and friends.

“Therefore, I say unto you, you shall be rich and comfortable, just as your Master In Mar-A-Lago means you to be.”

      Then Jesus called for questions.