(With humble gratitude to the brilliance of Paul Simon)
“THE PROBLEM IS ALL INSIDE YOUR HEAD,” HE SAID TO ME.
“The answer is easy if you take it logically
“Just sing these words and pretend that you’re guilt-free
“There must be fifty ways to steal an election”
JUST ERASE THE VOTES, JACK
Don’t let blacks vote, Mac
Get Putin to help, Don
Mess up the count, Tom
Sabotage the mail, Bill
Reject the results, Phil
Question Joe’s ballots, Lee
No need to be coy, Roy
Just tear down the House,
And claim sweet Victory.
I SAID “IT GRIEVES ME TO SEE YOU IN SUCH PAIN.
“Is there something I can do to make your smile come back again?”
He said, “Thank you very much, just let me sing my sweet refrain
“About the fifty ways to steal an election.”
JUST LIE UNTIL THEY CRY, STAN
Then accuse and deny, Man
Bring in fake electors, Gus
And Rudy’s traveling circus bus
Threaten poll workers, Dick
Menace voters thin and thick
Go before the Supremes, Lee
Where Justice is too blind to ever see,
Just cheat till you’re home free.
And claim your Victory
HE SAID, “I WON’T LET MYSELF LOSE TO JOE AGAIN.
“It grieves Melania so to see me in such pain
“You see there’s something I can do to make Maga World smile again
“It all depends on those 50 ways to steal an election.
“Count ‘em, 50 ways to steal an election.”
JUST ERASE THE VOTES, JACK
Don’t let blacks vote, Mac
Get Putin to help, Don
Mess up the count, Tom
Sabotage the mail, Bill
Reject the results, Phil
Question Joe’s ballots, Lee
No need to be coy, Roy
Just tear down the House,
And claim sweet Victory.
Make no mistake, if Donald Trump tried once to steal the presidency; he will do so again. Realistically, he has no incentive to play fair now, especially when a return to the Oval office could negate all federal crimes for which he stands accused. It’s fatuous to think Trump will suddenly reform his ways and realize that the country he is attempting to lead again is far more important than the fate of a single individual.
I WILL BET—EVEN GUARANTEE—THAT DONALD TRUMP AND HIS GANG HAVE ALREADY MADE PLANS TO STEAL THE 2024 ELECTION. WE MUST BE ON OUR GUARD.