When I grow up I’m going to become a cop in Massachusetts. I’m going to carry a gun, stand around construction sites all day, scarf up all the overtime I can get, earn a quarter of a million dollars a year and intimidate anyone who tries to institute changes that could affect my wealthy lifestyle.

When the Commonwealth tries to use civilian flaggers at one of my construction sites I’ll come down on them so hard they’ll think twice about doing it again. I’ll scare the living daylights out of the flagger, even threaten to arrest her, start a protest at the site, get my fellow officers to shout threats and obscenities, get my union to file lawsuits and all the time point out what a threat to public safety the state is creating.

I don’t care that all 49 other states use civilian flaggers. This is Massachusetts. We use police officers at our sites, and pay them for four hour shifts even if they work only 15 minutes, because we care about safety. And because the police union is so magical it can make 1000 politicians dance on the head of a pin.

And if I can’t become a cop in Massachusetts when I grow up, I guess I’ll become a fireman.