Category Archives: unfairness

LIFE AS A MULTIPLE CHOICE QUIZ

Good news!

While the rich can always get richer, it appears the poor have run out of room to fall any further.

How’s that for putting an end to torture!

According to the most recent census, the income gap between the richest and poorest Americans grew last year to the widest disparity ever recorded.

A new record! And they couldn’t have done it without us!

So congratulations to all the Wall Street Billionaires, Oil-soaked Mega-Billionaires and Amoral G.O.P. Minionaires who could not have set a new record for greed, avarice and galloping narcissism without the aid and gullibility of a majority of the voting public. Of course, kudos also to the Supreme Court, which bent over backwards to discard established law and allow unfettered purchase of all America’s elections by those who could afford them.

So congratulations to all of us for this record achievement. We truly earned it and, if we don’t wake up to what’s happening while we still have a pair of pants left to wear, we will truly deserve it going forward.

And remember, if we’re one day forced to forego some of those things we’ve come to expect from a civilized society—a comfortable retirement, a scrupulous financial system, help when we need it, an equitable share of the nation’s wealth, an affordable education, decent medical care or salaries that keep up with inflation—just keep in mind the rich are making their fair share of compromises, too.

I just can’t think of any at the moment.

I’m thinking of printing up a bunch of the bumper stickers like the one shown above. If you would have any interest in sporting your very own “TAX THE RICH OR KILL THE POOR” bumper sticker, contact me at [email protected], and I’ll see about making them up.

PAUL STEVEN STONE GOES TOPLESS


Breaking News: Noted local writer and very minor celebrity Paul Steven Stone joined a growing list of talentless wannabes to bare skin and a hint of nipple in a shameless attempt to draw attention to his current blog posting. When asked how far he would go in his efforts to attract unwarranted attention, Stone remarked, “You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

In other news, President Obama released his newly proposed budget earlier this week and sent a shock of alarm reverberating across the country. Reporters from The New York Post went out among the population to gauge the impact of Obama’s draconian cuts to many of the country’s most basic safety net services.

First to respond was Madonna who assured her worried fan base there was nothing to fear from the elimination of the government’s infant nutrition food program. Just back from adopting one or two new infants in Malawi, which is somewhere in Africa or Asia, the Material Girl expressed confidence, after consulting her Kabala soothsayer, that she and her brood of adopted children could comfortably get by on her income and assets, barring “a flood or a nuclear holocaust.”

When asked about her concern for the loss of all Public Broadcasting System funding, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, star of Jersey Shore and author of an eponymous tell-all memoir in which she never explains how she could pack 55 years of stupid behavior into a 23-year lifespan, also hastened to assure her worried fans. “Yes, there was talk of my hosting Masterpiece on PBS, but I don’t think it was a ‘shore’ thing, if you get my meaning.”

For those concerned about the drastic cuts in home heating assistance and community health programs, Fox News commentator and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachman suggested “We could kill two birds with one stone if all the poor people in northern America would just move south. C’mon guys!” she added, in an attempt to spur immediate action.

Lastly, when asked if he had any concern about possible cuts to student tuition grants, community policing funds and worker retraining programs, Donald Trump, who recently teased about a possible 2012 run for the Presidency, said, “I know it’s tough, but I don’t see any other way to assure a second round of tax cuts next year. Much as I hate to say it, we probably can’t afford food stamps either.”

Tune in next week to see how far President Obama, the Republicans and Paul Steven Stone will go to shamelessly pursue their funhouse mirror vision of the American dream.

C’mon guys, keep your pants on!

I don’t know about you, but I can’t take seriously an administration and a political party that scream for budget cuts after giving away the store in tax breaks to America’s wealthiest and greediest citizens. Wealth is finite, so it is only fair to point out that children will go hungry, students will forego college, people will freeze in their homes and the health of our poorest citizens will dramatically decline so that a small group of wealthy individuals can amass even more money. It’s unfair, it’s outrageous, it’s egregiously cruel and uncaring, and it’s roaring down the track so fast we hardly have time to wonder how we ever came to be so selfish. If this is the American Dream, please someone wake me up!