LEARN THE SYMPTOMS OF “DONALD TRUMP’S FLU“

• Dizziness from the inability to process lies

• Heightened anxiety from not knowing who to trust

• Abject fear of unmasked strangers carrying automatic rifles—usually Trump supporters who seem to be always shouting (with spittle flying)

• Low-grade fear of open airport hangers (both those filled with exhuberant, maskless Trump supporters, or those harboring thugs dressed in black, carrying ninja weapons who are in-transit to riots in the suburbs

• Unnecessery concern about the rising number of Covid-19 cases and deaths

• Virtual disappearance of postal deliveries

• Panic attacks over the possibility of a Biden win in November

• Dread and alarm over black people moving into one’s neighborhood

• Abnormal fear of Black-Americans, Native-Americans, Socialists, Puerto Ricans, journalists, and Democratic mayors and governors

• An intense dislike of Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Robert Woodward and Dr. Anthony Fauci

• An uncontrollable urge to move to Canada 

Be aware, Democratic politicians, George Conway and Antifa terrorist cells always represent a clear and present danger. They will try to argue around the truth you know to be true. Do not listen to them. Or to the mainstream fake news. They will lie and report that Donald Trump neglected to mobilize the power and resources of the American government when he first learned of of Covid-19’s deadliness last February. They will never admit that President Trump was so concerned about Americans panicking that he couldn’t risk activating the most effective and beautiful National pandemic strategy ever developed in Western Civilization. Nor will they admit that Donald Trump stepped into action—no, stepped into high gear!—the very moment he was certain that America’s unreasoned panic had been contained. As yet, we are unable to calculate how many American lives were saved by Trump’s swift and effective pandemic remediation efforts.

As always, Donald Trump, modest man that he is, takes no responsibility for the pandemic, its resultant deaths, or the still unfulfilled national effort he one day hopes to unleash.