Monthly Archives: July 2023

RON DE NOBEL LAUREATE

Stockholm, Sweden. This year’s Nobel Prize Committee today announced Ron DeSantis as the winner of the 2023 Nobel Prize for Fractured Logic. 

“No other candidate came even close,” the committee’s spokesperson declared. “Governor DeSantis, as the prime driving force behind Florida’s new guidelines on teaching racial history in the state’s middle schools, has stepped into world leadership as a proponent of fractured logic. “Pure genius!” the announcement declares. “By defying—and fracturing—logic in its new guidelines, the Florida Department of Education has vaulted Governor DeSantis to the forefront of specious arguments.”

In one bold move, Governor DeStantis shot ahead of Tucker Carlson who claimed the January 6th insurrection was actually a tour group visit to the Capitol. And also eclipsed Donald J. Trump whose logic in declaring his ability to mentally declassify state documents was thought to have stretched the limits in fracturing logic to a new world record.

“Governor DeSantis’ sponsorship of a guideline that insists slavery be taught as an institution fostering skills that later benefitted slaves, has shaken the foundations of logic worldwide and forever,” the Committee declared. To prove the validity of its statement, the Committee pointed out, “…within moments of the release of Florida’s guidelines on teaching slavery, lawyers for convicted felons filed suit in the U.S. Supreme Court claiming victims of rape, robbery and aggravated assault enjoyed untold benefits that were never considered at the time of their clients’ convictions.”

Many of the rapists were said to be hoping for a pardon should Donald J. Trump win the presidency in 2024.

RACES RUN

IT’S RECALLING ALL THE RACES RUN

That makes me tend to frown 

and often fret.

It’s recalling that my memory’s gone

Left behind in all the struggles and

The races I never ran

but still regret.

IT’S KNOWING THAT AS A YOUNG MAN I

Had muscles, wavy hair and 

Unspent power that

Fueled my stride.

All receding in some cruelly ebbing tide

Leaving a shell that clings

With diminished self awareness and

Deflated pride.

IT’S NOT LIVING IN A WORLD I NEVER CHOSE

That makes me question 

The young man that stands

Behind the eyes.

It’s living in a body that fails too often

And takes me out of service

With a sudden and disturbing 

Sense of surprise.

It’s feeling shackled and forgotten

In a prison of my Maker’s 

Cruelest device.

A prison whose walls crumble and fall

Once so proud and oh-so tall

Now projecting one’s 

Inevitable demise.

IT’S THE CARESSES AND THE WHISPERS

Of lovers whose final tally 

Will never change.

It’s the walls and fences 

Once there to jump

That leave the fading athlete

blushingly contained.

No more Siren calls to

Draw the man

In search of treasure 

Or hollow fame.

Not even when the Siren calls him out

By his once 

Familiar name.

IT’S THE POWER AND THE FIRES OF MY YOUTH

Thoughtlessly squandered and 

Stupidly spent,

The races I now count as lost

Beyond repair

Whose echoing absence 

I sacredly repent.

Till I cannot count the years

That connive to outgrow my body,

Weaken my resolve and, yes, 

Haunt my soul.

They undo my plans and cause

Me to ask with grim reality, 

When did I ever get 

So fucking old?