For those who remember her as a symbol of vibrant democracy and American virtue, the recent succumbing of Lady Liberty to a paralyzing strain of elephantiasis has been particularly disturbing.
“What makes this form of elephantiasis so destructive is that the invading agent—in this case the Republican Party—is using the very same laws and constitutional processes to subvert and paralyze Lady Liberty that were put in place to protect her and keep her safe,” commented former American president George Washington, as he rolled over in his grave.
Trackers of the disease point to two seminal events that allowed a minority party to essentially bring the forward progress of an entire nation to a grinding halt. “First the sons o‘bitches stole the presidency,” growled former president Andrew Johnson, also rolling over in his grave, “from top to bottom, from hanging chads to Supreme Court interference in the electoral process, they poked Lady Liberty in the eye and opened the door for all sorts of mischief to sneak through the gates she’d been guarding.”
“That allowed an illegitimate, prisoner-torturing, war-mongering American President to stuff the Supreme Court with more of those gun-loving, people-hating Republicans who would sooner throw the Constitution under the bus than go against the wishes and best interests of billionaires and anti-government zealots,” Jackson concluded.
“And damn if they didn’t steal the next presidential election, as well!” Teddy Roosevelt, himself a former Republican, chimed in, being the latest in a long line of ex-presidents to turn over in his grave. “Hell, in all the history of exit polls for presidential elections, there’ve only been two that supposedly predicted the outcomes wrongly,” he continued. “Florida in 2000, Ohio in 2004. Both states whose electoral vote results threw victory into the arms of George W. Bush. You’d think the American media would have had the stink detector—or the courage—to question whether it was the exit polls or the reported results that were bogus?” the former president opined through gritted teeth.
Elephantiasis trackers next point to a confluence of American political events that set the stage for the disease to invade Lady Liberty and totally capture her vital organs and democratic processes. Having voted out the Republican majority in congress who, along with their illegitimate president, had allowed the plundering of the American treasury and economy, American voters elected a Democratic president and congressional majority who not only pulled the American economy back from the brink of total collapse, but also voted in a universal health care program that would bring health care to all Americans, including over 30 million of our nation’s poorest citizens.
That act of social conscience and long-overdue legislative protection for America’s most vulnerable citizens drew an immediate whiplash reaction from traditional Republicans and a GOP-led force of angry zealots who called themselves tea-partiers. And though nobody noticed at the time, the nascent bacillus of Lady Liberty’s elephantiasis secured its first beachhead when this mushrooming mob of angry voters, seemingly forgetting the Republican excesses of the Bush years, voted in a GOP majority—not only in the House of Representatives but in statehouses across the country.
The Elephantiasis bacillus
In politics, timing is everything. In the development of Lady Liberty’s elephantiasis, timing was of crucial significance. Because those GOP majorities took power at exactly the right time for them to gerrymander voting districts to ensure Republican control of state houses and congressional districts for years to come, no matter how many geographically-bizarre districts had to be created, no matter how much the GOP’s base would eventually contract. Suddenly, at the stroke of state house pens across the country, a minority party with a shrinking base of support, was given a guaranteed legislative majority from which to pursue minority viewpoints and block the will of the American people.
And what of Lady Liberty? Her legs have grown so gargantuan and difficult to lift, it’s all she can do lately to get out of bed in the morning. And with every presidential or senate initiative blocked or ignored by Republican intransigence, she finds herself mostly moving backwards, living in the past, fighting battles she thought she’d won years ago. Kept in the past by a Republican Party and a conservative Supreme Court working tirelessly to set back voting rights reform and civil rights protections, to keep women, immigrants and minorities in their “rightful” place, to reduce middle class earning power and destroy recently enacted restrictions on reckless banks and Wall Street shenanigans, and to bring back the era of clothes hanger abortions. A Republican Party that has filibustered 420 times in recent years to block any kind of initiative that doesn’t resonate with their trickle-down, “serve the wealthy first” theories of economics and social justice, an obstructionist party that refuses to spend money on anything other than defense contracts, foreign aid and the construction of a 35 foot fence along the Mexican border.
The argument never changes. Time and time again, Lady Liberty has been told the deficit can’t be increased, that the precipitous loss of revenues—incurred because the Republicans under Bush virtually sacked the American economy—have driven up the deficit so dramatically there’s no money left to help struggling college students, hungry children, crumbling roads, falling bridges, a failing educational system or to even maintain the social contract she made years ago with our nation’s elderly and infirm. Suddenly Lady Liberty finds herself spending more money on weapon systems than on an elder population forced to compete for Walmart greeter positions and to work into their 80’s. Rather than plan and legislate for the future, she finds herself repeatedly fighting battles the Republicans refuse to acknowledge having lost. Just last week, the Republican controlled house once again voted to kill off Obamacare, the success of which so frightens them they would rather bring the entire government to a halt, and leave 32 million people uninsured, than allow the law to be funded.
And if there’s nothing else she’s learned from her battle with elephantiasis it’s that there’s no arguing with this particular political disease. It will either have its way or kill her as it progresses. For Lady Liberty has learned better than most that our political process isn’t just broken, as many maintain, but that it’s been hijacked. Just as the Nazis, the Bolsheviks and the Chilean military under Pinochet hijacked their countries’ political processes.
As for Lady Liberty, it’s highly ironic that she may finally pass away at the moment her condition, under Obamacare, is no longer considered uninsurable.
