Episode 1: Tribal Adversaries

Hello, and welcome to Survivor Cambridge, the TV show that chronicles the downfall and banana-slip slide of “Life As We Know It” on the island of Cambridge, Massachusetts. Both of our competing tribes, as you’ll see, are drawn from the streets and neighborhoods of the city; living, working, and fighting for their survival in Cambridge’s breakneck economy and rapidly changing population profile.

As the competition in this arena seems a bit complicated, here’s a brief profile of the two tribes who will be fighting and scrapping to survive on the island—all for your viewing pleasure.

First tribe, and probably the least favored by the Vegas morning line, Tribe #1 is made up of the city’s diverse population, with a heavy emphasis on the middle class and those living on or near poverty levels. With upscale development (smelling a lot like gentrification) proceeding at a dramatic pace in the city, with the prohibitive rise in housing costs that usually accompanies such development—not to mention federal housing assistance funds drying up—is it any wonder these folks are not expected to survive very long on the island?

Not unless they can somehow Outwit, Outplay and Outlast Tribe #2!

Tribe #2 is the morning line favorite; their motto being “Build, Baby, Build!” Made up of a variety of interests and business types, its tribal members wish to benefit handsomely from all the opportunities that come to a city whose real estate market is blisteringly hot.

Tribe #2 believes A Bigger Cambridge is A Better Cambridge. They believe you can bring massive change to a city without harming those aspects that make Cambridge special. They see nothing wrong in 16- and 18-story towers dotting the Cambridge landscape where before there were only modest storefronts and triple deckers. They pooh-pooh any concerns about the Red Line, Cambridge’s most critical subway line, being already maxed out.

Confidentially, they would also wish to be the ones to develop and feed off all the new housing, office and lab facilities being built for affluent engineers and technicians who will easily outbid families and poor people for the city’s limited housing.

Key strategic relationships with the City Council, the City Manager and the Community Development Department have emboldened Tribe #2 to make a staggering grab this season for increased power and profits through massive up-zoning of Kendall and Central Squares, in a city-sponsored study process commonly known as K2C2.

Three major strategic initiatives in the last 20 years have put Tribe #2 steadily on the offensive and Tribe #1 with its back against a wall.

We’ll have more on those initiatives, and Tribe #1’s subsequent fight for survival, but first a word from today’s show’s sponsor, The Cambridge Residents Alliance.

 ANNOUNCER: The Cambridge Residents Alliance is an organization made up of your neighbors and friends: people who can see what is happening in Cambridge today and are rightfully concerned.

Concerned about flagrant disregard of the city’s zoning code, with spot-zoning the norm rather than the exception, and Cambridge clearly for sale if the sweetener is right. Concerned about a City Council so quick to say “Yes!” it voted to move MIT’s petition along before comments were taken from the public.

Mostly, of course, we are concerned about the future. About what kind of Cambridge we will leave behind for those who follow. Will it be a Cambridge of diverse ethnicities, ages and economic levels? Will it be a Cambridge where we still have neighborhood communities, still have room to breathe? Will we have traded away the essence of who we are for another great year of keeping taxes low and streets clean?

Yes, as you might have heard, we are concerned about the proposed rezoning of Central Square that could bring 16- or 18-story towers and their shadows, plus more cars and congestion, more people and traffic, more bio labs sited next to apartments, more apartments built without parking spaces. More noise, chaos, confusion. And we are concerned that we appear to be moving in no particular direction, with no particular plan in mind.

If that sounds familiar, you might want to lift your voice or lend a hand .To help play a role in deciding Cambridge’s future, click onto CambridgeResidentsAlliance.org.

If you can donate to help get our message out, so much the better!

Now back to Survivor Cambridge.

Three Strategic Blows Hit Tribe #1

It’s been a rough 20 years for the tribe. The end of Rent Control in 1994 seriously upset the ability of many low income people and middle class families to safely remain in their Cambridge homes. Owing to its proximity to Boston and a unique combination of academic and urban influences, Cambridge’s strong residential appeal and concomitant high property values have remained consistent even in the worst of real estate markets.

In 2005, the tribe was struck again, when a city-wide reassessment of property values disproportionately affected the valuation of houses owned by low-income residents, so that hundreds of economically disadvantaged homeowners had their property taxes increased by over 100%. Resulting in another tidal wave exodus of the poor and disadvantaged from Cambridge.

Okay, fast forward to today, where the poorer members of Tribe #1 are in danger of being replaced wholesale by newcomers who can better afford Cambridge’s pricey real estate. Both tribes have taken their best shots to halt or assist this rapid development, making hundreds of presentations (or so it seems) to the Planning Board, the Ordinance Committee, the City Council, and to anyone else who’ll listen. The word “Housing” gets repeated so often in these public ventings its very vibration has become almost hypnotic. As an ironic side note to these ongoing tribal skirmishes both sides repeatedly lay claim to the overriding goal of protecting Cambridge’s diverse, impoverished and family-based population.

Tribe #2 is clearly the most dangerous and least likable tribe on today’s show. Its members have grown fat, rich and increasingly self-important as the value of Cambridge real estate has rocketed. Living off the highest of economic tides a city might ever see, these build-baby-build fanatics are staunch enemies of Tribe #1, whom they see as hindering “progress” and “growth” for the city. Of course, they’re also hindering countless money-making ventures for Tribe #2, thus threatening tribe members’ profits and thwarting their long term agenda to become Multi-Millionaires.

So, at the critical moment when assisted housing appears an ever more distant memory, and section 8 vouchers are no longer large enough to cover the gap in a monthly rent check, along comes this once in a lifetime overheating of the Cambridge real estate market.

With a city government in place that seems a pushover for Tribe #2’s arguments. And, in some cases, an actual advocate of those very same arguments.

This Week’s Tribal Challenge

Okay,  you’ve met our two teams of contestants, and realize what a crucial juncture we’ve reached here on the island.  So here’s this week’s tribal challenge… With the recent explosion of residential complexes nearing completion in the Alewife area, rush hour driving, already difficult for those living in the vicinity, is expected to become a monumental disaster.

Tribe #1, your task is quite simply to bring traffic relief to the trapped residents of Alewife by delivering an auto catapult—a Supremo Auto Catapult—to Alewife during the very next rush hour! As you no doubt already know, a Supremo Auto Catapult can airlift approximately 15 cars an hour out of a gridlocked neighborhood.Your team will be given two hours, from 8am to 10am, to pick up the Supremo Auto Catapult parked at the Science Museum and deliver it to Alewife Station…Ordinarily, such a simple delivery would only take 15 minutes.

Tribe #2, your challenge is to stop Tribe #1 from making that simple delivery.

The Winning Tribe will be given extra time to make its case at the next city council meeting. Tribe #1, you will get 5 extra minutes if you win; Tribe #2, you will be given 30 extra minutes. (And, yes, we do realize those are different time allotments. Just goes to show why Tribe #2 is such a smart money favorite.)

Join us for the next episode of Survivor Cambridge. Where you can…

 • Watch as the Planning Board wastes precious minutes searching for their rubber stamp!

 • See undercover footage of members of Cambridge’s Community Development Department enjoying secret meetings with developers.

 • Watch Central Square start it’s journey to become a tower-studded affair, with far fewer parking lots and thousands more people.

 • See our next Tribal Challenge, when Tribe #2 is asked to prove, using real live T passengers, its claim that Red Line subway cars have room for 40% additional capacity during rush hour.

Last Minute Challenge Update: This just in…I’m told that Tribe #1 successfully picked up the Supremo catapult at the Science Museum but was unable to deliver it to Alewife in the allotted time. In a move hailed as “brilliant! Illustrative of the best military minds” Tribe #2 used its city hall connections to have Cambridge’s chief contractor and traffic inhibitor, the D’Allessandro company, start tearing up streets everywhere in Cambridge, thus knotting up the city in a giant gridlock and keeping the catapult far from Alewife territory.

I know, it sounds like a normal rush hour to me, too.