Queen Hillary And The Donald, A Cliff Notes Shakespearean Parody

The Tragic Comedy Of

Queen Hillary And The Donald

A Play by William Shakespeare

(as channeled by Paul Steven Stone)



The Island Nation of Amerikka, a small banana republic off the northeast coast of Central America. Time: Election season 2016. After a bitterly fought Dollarcratic primary race, Hillary Clinton emerges the victor, seemingly unscathed by the myriad scandals, health controversies and cries of ‘Election fraud!’ that swirl around her. She is literally weeks away from finally winning the throne of the Chief Potentate of Amerikka. The question now is whether any dramatic leak or evidence of a crime will emerge in the final weeks of the campaign, and will it be of sufficient weight and shock value to stop the Hillary Victory Train…?


(Queen) Hillary Clinton, whose plot to become—at any cost!—the Chief Potentate of Amerikka is the driving force of this recently discovered Shakespearean play.

Amerikka is a small island republic shkspr1with a democratic tradition going back over 200 years, And, yes, its principal export is bananas. Amerikka prides itself on its much vaunted reputation for holding free and fair elections; little realizing Hillary Clinton—Queen Hillary!—and her Dollarcratic Party had just run rougshod over Bernie Sanders and his millions of supporters in the primaries. Hillary and her DNC minions do anything and everything to win the primaries, hacking into voting machines and changing election results; dropping Bernie supporters off the voting rolls or changing their registered party affiliations so they couldn’t vote in the Dollarcratic primary.

Hillary picked Bernie’s pocket, ate his lunch, cleaned his clock. It wasn’t the will of the people but the will of one woman that determined the results of  Amerikka’s primary elections. And nobody knows anything about it because the nation’s press is completely—and complicitly— silent about the many clumsy, very visible signs of election fraud that popped up everywhere during the primaries,

hd3Hillary’s oft quoted line from the first act of Queen Hillary And The Donald, ”To Cheat Or Not To Cheat…?” became a battle cry for mid- and upper-level bank executives when this, the first new Shakespearan play in 400 years, was first performed in London’s Globe Theater. Hillary’s sobering soliloquy, “To Cheat Or Not To Cheat…?”  still resonates in the corridors of power, especially among those chasing fame and fortune in Washington, D.C.

In taking over the Dollarcratic National Committee (DNC), brain trust of Amerikka’s historically liberal political party, Hillary Clinton successfully gains control of one of two mechanisms that feed Chief Potentate candidates to the Amerikkan republic and its people.

Anointing herself Chief Potentate of Amerikka will be as simple as Hillary consolidating her control of the DNC, something that receives a big boost whenshkspr7 her former campaign manager and current henchwoman, Debbie Whattsup Schultz, is appointed Chairperson of the DNC, a position from which she can easily reach out to state Dollarcratic parties for clandestine help in sabotaging Hillary’s opponents’ campaigns, if necessary.

Hillary’s master plot receives an even bigger boost when Donald J. Trump, The Donald himself, wins the Repugnant Party’s presidential nomination. It is thought Donald is the only Repugnant Party candidate a much-wounded Hillary could actually beat in the general election.

Most of this—not The Donald part, of course, but the rest—all flows from an agreement between Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and the Dollarcratic leadership in 2008. The Clintons, acting swiftly to offset Hillary’s loss of the Dollarcratic primary, conspired secretly with soon-to-be-President Obama and the bh1rest of the party’s leaders to ensure Hillary’s ascension as the next Chief Potentate—of course after Obama’s two terms are up. The first installment of Obama’s obligation in the deal is to appoint Hillary Secretary of State. A small price to pay for her endorsement which helps unite the party after a hard fought and divisive primary.

Amerikka is such a tightly controlled banana republic that the Political and Financial Elite that control the country are quickly able to reach agreement to clamp down on the federal government and the mainstream press, tightly enough to a.) protect Hillary from being prosecuted for her crimes, and b.) enforce a total blackout on Dollarcratic primary rivals Bernie Sanders and Martin O’Malley; and c.) ensure Hillary wins the Chief Potentate’s job, a seat of immense power she will immediately share with Bill, assuming he can keep his hands off the interns. But the one element neither Hillary nor Bill, nor the entire Dollarcratic establishment takes into consideration is the Joker in the deck, Jullian Assange.

Julian (The Joker) Assange, founder of Wikileaks and fearless advocate for julian-assangehonesty and transparency in government. Assange, hidden away at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, is leaking Hillary’s dark secrets in a drip-drip-drip scenario that rivals Chinese Water Torture. Meanwhile the entire world watches and waits to see how much of Assange’s daily damage Hillary’s campaign can sustain. It is Assange who leaks DNC emails that prove the fix was in for Hillary almost a year before the primaries. Assange who hints the murder of 27-year-old DNC worker Seth Rich may have been a calculated response to the leaked DNC emails (making Rich the 51st mysterious death in the infamous Clinton body count). Assange who Hillary hates. Assange who threatens to release something too incriminating for the authorities to ignore.  jesterAssange whose life is at risk, his enemies having far too much power not to be feared. Especially since he represents the last major obstacle between Hillary and the Chief Potentate’s Palace. Having once suggested sending a drone to kill Assange, Hillary, too much in the spotlight at the moment to risk murder, is forced to sit patiently and wonder which of her manifold private conversations and nefarious deeds will next appear in the nation’s 24 hour news cycle.  Meanwhile Hillary and her DNC minions have concocted a story placing blame for the leaks on the Russians, hoping to divert attention away from the content of the leaks themselves. Not surprisingly, the FBI has been brought into the frame to confirm the Russian cover story and create more distraction from leaked evidence of Hillary’s election fraud. Which brings us to…

The Amerikkan Federal Government. Much like any federal agency in a backwater banana Republic, the Amerikkan government is an easily corrupted eagle1tool of the ruling elite. Nowhere was that fact more evident than when the much-feared and once-respected Federal Bureau of Investigation became a lapdog to Queen Hillary when investigating her use of a private email server in the basement of her house. Those in the know are not surprised by FBI Director, James Comey testifying that Hillary has NOT committed a crime; that her extremely careless handling of our nation’s most guarded secrets clearly jeopardized the country’s security, but wasn’t the result of any criminally culpable intent on Hillary’s part.

Net result: Hillary walks!

Additionally, nobody in the country buys Attorney General Loretta Lynch’s explanation of why Bill Clinton and she had a secret meeting on the tarmac of the Phoenix airport just three days before the FBI exonerates Queen Hillary. “We were just talking about our grandchildren, and golf,” the AG explains, amazingly without once smirking. The meeting was only reported because a TV reporter just happened to see Clinton walk onto Lynch’s private plane.” Both the Justice Department and the FBI have seen their reputations and moral authority dramatically damaged by their reluctance to do their duty when it comes to Queen Hillary. Lucky for them, the toothless national press seems highly disinterested in government malfeasance. Speaking of which…

The Mainstream Media is played, according to Shakespeare’s explicit instructions, by two actors, both seemingly blind, whose main contribution for most of the play consists of walking into walls, falling off the stage and running down blind alleys.

Donald J. Trump, (The Donald), brash and coarse billionaire and surprise victor donaldin the Repugnant primaries, whose egomania and sexist world view, not to mention a perverted need for self-entertainment, serves to add tension and humor to Shakespeare’s ongoing narrative of Hillary Clinton’s rise and fall.

Suspense builds through the audience’s slowly-forming realization that Trump, little more than a sleazy snake oil salesman at best, could easily, through the slightest twist of fate, win the presidency and, yes, gain access to the nuclear missilecodes! It never seems likely, but it does remain frighteningly possible; a prospect so chilling it makes Donald J. Trump unpalatable to the majority of mature, rational adults in Amerikka while he remains an entertaining foil to the excessively serious White Christian Men of the Repugnant Party.

Donald struggles to understand the press, which once loved every golden word that passed through his lips, but now, from the moment he won the nomination, the media has developed an antipathy towards Trump as strong as their former fascination. He understands they’ve changed their attitude towards him, he just can’t understand why.

bdConspiracists won’t be surprised to learn Trump’s longtime friend and golfing buddy, Bill Clinton, was the first to advise Donald to run for the presidency.


Victims Four: Four middle-aged women claiming to have been abused by the victims-fourClintons. Three of the victims (on left) —Kathleen Wiley, Juanita Broadrick and Paula Jones—accuse Bill Clinton of sexual assault, the fourth victim (on right) was a 12-year-old rape victim whose 42-year-old rapist was vigorously defended by a young Hillary Clinton many years ago in Arkansas. All four are brought together by Donald Trump for a press interview one hour before a scheduled presidential debate. In keeping with the press’ unified stance on protecting Hillary, CNN is the only one of the major broadcast or cable networks to give it any air time. And they mysteriously lose their audio of the event, so all you see are soundless pictures of the four women and Trump. Nor does the media take much notice an hour later when Donald brings the four victims as his guests to the debate.

Bill “The Internist” Clinton, hands-down winner of the creepiest former shkspr4Chief Potentate, alive or dead, having turned the Chief Potentate’s Palace into a frat cave party zone during his first residential stay. Staunch partner-in-crime to Hillary, who shares the unquenchable thirst for power and purse that ultimately sparked and propelled (along with Sex) most of the diverse scandals that have riddled the public and private lives of the Clintons.

Never one to pass up an easy dollar, (or an easy woman, for that matter) Bill Clinton set up the multi-billion-dollar Clinton Foundation as a giant money laundering machine to harvest all the dollars Hillary could shake loose from foreign regimes while serving as Secretary of State. The Foundation’s much-ballyhooed good works are fronts for raising vast sums, most of which go to pay for the foundation’s administrative costs and fund-raising.

Another institution that exists to serve no greater cause than itself. Just like its founders!

shyBernie “The Innocent” Sanders, populist politician, socialist-leaning Senator, thwarted candidate for the Dollarcratic nomination; victim of massive election fraud and voter suppression by the very woman he now finds himself endorsing for the presidency. An endorsement leading, inevitably, he believes, to the detriment and misadventure of his soul and reputation.

Proving once again that all who align their fortunes to that of the Clintons inevitably pay a price.

Eventually, we see Bernie, looking old and tired, still feeling the effects of campaigning 24/7 for the last year, slightly disheveled, his hair ablaze like a white bshalo; he seems a mere “ghost” of his former self, pacing the Capitol’s corridors night after night, like Hamlet’s father’ ghost, calling for vengeance, callng for a redo of the campaign—and still calling for a fifteen dollar minimum wage! He holds up the 2016 Dollarcratic Platform to prove, to anyone who cares, his ideas had an impact on Hillary’s policies. “Not exactly a revolution,” he says, shrugging it off, “but, hey, you gotta start somewhere.”

Barack (Big “O”) Obama; perhaps the most tragic of the play’s characters, his othelpact with the Clintons, forged in the moments just prior to winning his nomination in 2008, while the first blush of victory was still taking hold; and now, eight years later, finds himself facing an aspect of that agreement that will ultimately drag him and his legacy down for all history to see.

Tasked with winding down his second term as Chief Potentate with his credibility and integrity seemingly in shatters, a consequence of his fortunes becoming inextricably joined to those of Hillary Clinton, Obama must now run a government that has little faith left in its Commander and Chief. The government bureaucracy knows—as much as anyone knows— just how far the Obama Justice Dept. and FBI bent the law to serve Hillary’s unshakeable drive to become Chief Potentate.

Obama’s Department of Justice and FBI both shame themselves in their mad rush to vindicate a woman whose negligence truly reaches criminal proportions. oAs Shakespeare opens up the dramatic action of “Queen Hillary And The Donald” we find Barack Obama’s presidency languishing in the doldrums, at the final leg of its journey, its compass set to cruise control and its captain gone from the bridge. Hillary is racing furiously towards the finish line of her odyssey, hoping to cross over before election fraud lawsuits hit the courts or Assange’s next leak contains the dynamite she most fears. Aside from her many campaign issues, Hillary worries—in her place of deepest fears—that the international media will break the scandalous tale of Amerikka’s corporate media censoring and slanting its news to favor her campaign. It’s when calculating the explosive implications of rigging the Dollarcratic primaries and shredding the Amerikkan constitution that she declaims her famous soliloquy, “To Cheat Or Not To Cheat…?” Meanwhile, the president, showing little interest in affairs of state, disappears daily for a pickup game at the Senate gymnasium; after which he usually plays a round of golf with Bill Clinton or George Bush, if time allows.

True to form, Shakespeare saves his last comment about “Queen Hillary And The Donald” for his parting poetic stanza:

And now we must bring down the curtain,

On Hillary, Bill and their Victims Four

Searching for evidence of which we are certain

The FBI woefully missed once before

Proving Bernie not Hillary won the day

And honesty its own victory proclaims

Some potentates are born to palace life

While others born to prison chains.

For never was a story told of more woe and sickly sweets

Than this of Hillary’s emails and The Donald’s 3 am tweets.


Read my “HILLARY CHRONICLES,” ten essays about David (Bernie) getting shafted by Goliath (Hillary) and her merry band of Philistines. The ten essays (in order of appearance): “BRAND SUICIDE, the Destruction of the Democratic Brand in 2016,” “The CDC Issues “CLINTON TOXICITY ALERT!” Warns Contact Could Prove Fatal To One’s Reputation,” “DEMOCRATS USE RUSSIANS AS SHIELD TO RE-FOCUS EMAIL STORY—PR PLOY OF THE CENTURY,”  “IS THAT YOUR IDEA OF AN APOLOGY?” AND  “DON’T BLAME ME IF I CRITICIZE HILLARY.” “Battle For The Presidency: The Gonzo Versus The Gonif,  “Sorry Bernie, We Still Can’t Trust Hillary,” “Sorry Hillary, We Can Never Forget—or Forgive—Your Stealing The Nomination,” “CONNECTING THE DOTS”, The Frightening Underbelly of the 2016 Presidential Election, “THE AUDACITY OF AUDACITY, the stealing of the American presidency 2016

Also, my post for young aspiring journalists looking to avoid the obvious pitfalls of working in corporate media: How To Spot A Stolen Presidential Election.

Also about the election: Why Millennials Will Never Vote For Hillary.What Did Obama Know And When Did He Know It?

And lastly, to relive those glorious days of the Bernie campaign, check out mine and Bill Dahlgren’s .“CHANNELING BERNIE,” ad campaign. 51 glorious ads in pursuit of the real American Dream.